10 tips for politicians – things that will never work no matter how hard you try

When the Twin Towers went down some people just couldn’t keeping watching – it was too distressing. The media reports went on for days even months. Others like me couldn’t stop watching. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s a way of dealing with the trauma and disbelief. Watching Australian television in the last few months has had the same effect – like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I really don’t want to watch but just can’t help it.  So out of all this, a few observations for all the politicians out there – the 10 things that will never work no matter how hard you try.

  1. Insist black is white no matter what
  2. Use simple mantras and keep repeating them – that way you at least will eventually believe them even if no one else does
  3. Ignore research – it might tell you something you don’t agree with
  4. Always blame someone else
  5. Surround yourself with people who agree with you – label the others as ‘angry’, ‘envious’ or similar – insult and denigrate rather than talking about issues
  6. Never think about people – it’s all about money
  7. Make sure your public words and actions reflect all your private judgmental beliefs and biases
  8. Believe everyone thinks as highly of you as your mother
  9. Never ever consider you might actually be wrong
  10. Oh yes talk about personal responsibility then get your stomach banded and puff on cigars, dance in your office to “The best day of my life” (but it is a great song)

before delivering blow after blow to the poor and disenfranchised in the budget, label students as ‘socialists’ because you’ve never left your own days of uni politics – and don’t forget to wink – after all it’s just a big fat game – isn’t it?

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One thought on “10 tips for politicians – things that will never work no matter how hard you try

  1. Pingback: Tips for politicians: The ten things that will never work no matter how hard you try • SJS

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